I don’t know why I put a question mark up there, because the proper format for that title is thus:
“Made for walking, my ass!!”
See, when people tell you about walking places, they tell you about the benefits–which makes sense, because they want you to do it, right? So yeah, it’s good for the environment, and it’s really good exercise (I hear it’s wicked cardio), and so on… But you know what they don’t tell you?
Walking places gives you ugly feet.
I’m not kidding! Granted, my size-ten-to-twelve (depends on the shoe, and yes, I am Bigfoot reincarnated, and no, you can’t take a picture with me) feet were never the prettiest. But whether I have the boots that weren’t made for walking, or another problem altogether, walking several kilometres (miles, for those Americans among you) a day over an extended length of time has made them uuuuuugly!
Don’t get me wrong, I like walking. It does take longer to get places, which is kind of–okay a lot of–a piss-off at five in the morning, but it is good exercise, and I enjoy the time for my body and brain to wake up. I walk (most often long distances) on a semi-regular basis, and I’d say it’s definitely contributed to a decrease in the days where I feel four times my age and an increase in my overall mood.
However, it turns out I’m just vain enough to be upset by the sight of my feet covered in callouses and blisters and toughened skin. Walk barefoot over hot coals? Watch me! Errr, on second thought, maybe that wouldn’t help.
So instead, I’ll go soak my feet in epsom salts, rub some nice-smelling moisturizing gunk on ’em, and revel in the excuse to wear fuzzy slippers 24/7. Within the confines of my home, that is.
And I’ll keep walking.
Sayonara and remember to tip your waiter (unless he’s as slow as me with a new blog post, in which case I really hope you’ve left the dining establishment in question by now),